DO YOU REALLY KNOW ME?

Do you really know me?

 

Do you know me beyond my name?

Know me beyond my culture?

Beyond my age

or what I plan to do in the future?

 

Do you know me beyond what you see?

Know me beyond what you hear?

Beyond where I am right now

and how I even got here?

 

Do you know of the thoughts

I have at three in the morning?

The things that rummage through my brain

that to you, may act as a warning.

 

Do you know of the scar on my arm

and the story behind it all?

How I was able to rise

after I’ve just taken the fall.

 

Do you know of my dreams,

my aspirations, my goals?

The plans I have to get there?

To connect the dots and fill in the holes?

 

Do you really know me?

Let me introduce myself.

 

I am more than just a name,

more than just my age,

more than where I am

or where I stand on the stage.

 

I am the music I listen to

and the songs stuck in my head.

I am the films I decadently watch

and the lines that they have said.

 

I am the photographs I take,

the intricate patterns of nature.

I am the stories behind my favourite books,

the characters and their behaviour.

 

I am the clothes I wear,

how I choose to present myself.

I am the books I read,

and the ones that are resting on the shelf.

 

I am the things I have experienced,

the good and the bad.

I am the child of my immigrant parents,

my mom and my dad.

 

I am the way I crack my knuckles

during times when I am nervous.

I am who I am inside,

deeper than what’s on the surface.

 

I am my thoughts,

the ideas I have in my brain.

I am more than what I suffered through.

I am more than my pain.

 

I am my passionate heart

and the way it beats to the drum.

I am the fears that I have

and the ways I choose to overcome.

 

I am the words I can string together,

the meaning behind the text.

I am the places I’ve been to

and where I’m going next.

 

There is more to me than what you know;

far beyond what you can see.

So now I’ll ask again:

Do you really know me?

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BITS AND PIECES

isn’t it funny
that we can know someone so damn well
that all these information
gets stored in your memory

frankly i remember a lot about you
things about you that not a lot may notice
but i do

like that time when you told me
that the reason why you were chubby
when you were younger
is because you ate one too many cookies

like that time you weren’t feeling well
and i asked you why
and you said you were feeling a bit under the weather
although i knew it was much more than that

like that time we first talked
and i asked you when your birthday was
you said, “september 27, 8:39pm”

like that time i came up to you
with different coloured hair
and you told me i’m even more beautiful
than i was before

like that time you were going to surprise me
but i knew you were walking in the door
because i knew you so well,
the sound of your footsteps became so familiar

all these information stay with me
and though at the time it was great
it isn’t anymore
and every time i remember something about you
memories come flooding in
and it pierces my heart

like that time i saw a little kid
eat one too many cookies
and it reminded me of what you told me

like that time i was the one feeling under the weather
and wondered if you felt the same nauseating feeling
that i had at the moment

like that time it was 8:39pm on september 27th
and i remembered it was the exact time you graced the earth
but i couldn’t greet you with love, care, and passion anymore
the way that i used to

like that time i heard a boy tell his girl
that she looked beautiful
with her hair the way it was

like that time i was putting my books back on the shelf
and i heard your footsteps
so i looked behind expecting you to come up to me
but you kept on walking

little bits of you stayed with me
little bits of you that i can’t forget
little bits of you that i’m not sure
whether to keep remembering
or to try to let go


I wrote this earlier and like I’ve mentioned in my last posts, I’ve been making poems and keeping them in my laptop but I thought I’d share this one with you guys. I don’t know how I feel about it to be quite honest but here you go anyway.

Home

According to Google, the definition of home is the place where one lives permanently. I thought about that and figured that my own definition of home isn’t really the place I live in. There’s nothing wrong about where I live though I’ve felt more at home in different places than in my house.

But maybe it’s when I’m with you. Maybe home is when I get to see your face light up or maybe it’s when you laugh at stupid jokes. Maybe it’s how you rock back and forth and slap your knee with your left hand whenever you think something is funny. Or when you’re right there, looking down at your phone and reading articles because I know how much you love that. Maybe home is when you ramble on about stories you find funny or interesting that you want to share it with me. Maybe home is the way you tell me to have a good day or maybe it’s when I’m feeling blue and you’re still there. Maybe it’s the way you make me happy just by being your total self. Maybe home is how you help me whenever I need it, when you give me words of advice to help me get through. Maybe it’s how you greet me hello everytime we talk. Maybe it’s when you smile and your dimple shows up. Maybe it’s how you sing songs at the top of your lungs. Maybe home is when you told me you’ll always just say goodnight, but never goodbye. Maybe home is me in your hug. Maybe it’s true, that home is where the heart is and my heart is with you. Because that’s where I feel like I’m protected, that’s where I feel like nothing can hurt me. That I can be with you, and the world can be out there, and I still will be safe. Because home is where you feel loved, and I feel it when you’re here. Maybe home isn’t a place. Maybe it’s a person. Maybe you’re home.

run on sentences

I want to love and have that love completely fill my heart with nothing but love and happiness that I feel like nothing bad will ever happen to me because I’m with the person that I’ve always wanted to be with.

I want that love to shatter my heart that it will be almost impossible to put pieces of me back together and yes I know that may be strange to ask for but I want it to hurt me and I want to know what pain and being hurt really is.

I want to overcome that pain and be able to pick myself back up and never let whatever happened to me get the best of me and what I’ll do and what I’ll become because I will be better than the past mistakes I’ve made.

I want to be happy and be able to know what I deserve and that I deserve better than how I was treated or what was given to me and I’ll be full of joy that I will feel as if nothing can stop me because my life is finally back on track.

I want to travel here and there and go all around the world so that I can explore and talk and meet new people and learn different languages and eat exotic food I never dare would eat and discover so many great things and finally say that I went on an adventure.

I want to scrape my knees again and fall down from time to time so that it will make me realize that everyone makes mistakes just as I do and be reminded that the world isn’t perfect and neither am I.

I want to help people in need and give them a helping hand and feed the hungry and give people on the streets something that will keep them warm during the cold winter nights and go to third-world countries that the government can’t/doesn’t reach and help them and make them feel loved.

I want to climb mountains and feel fear when my foot steps on the wrong side of the rock and it slips off but feel like I have just conquered what the world has thrown at me once I’ve reached the top and have yelled out all my problems and anything that worries me.

I want to swim in the oceans and feel like I’m in a completely different world while being underwater and have the feeling that I left all my problems by the shore and feel totally at peace with the water.

I want to learn and keep learning and fill my head with wisdom and knowledge and figure out how to do certain things and how things came to be and find out interesting facts about things I never knew about or have heard of.

I want to stay up late and have someone to talk to about the sky and the stars and the moon and the sun and how vast the universe is and how many galaxies there are and if aliens really do exist and how humans are pretty much a speck of dust compared to everything that’s out there.

I want to be someone’s reason of being happy and be the reason why their day becomes better and I want to make strangers happy and give them flowers and make them feel like someone out there cares for them because there is.

I want to realize how short life is and know that my time on earth isn’t unlimited and there will come a day where I won’t be here anymore and that could be any day, any time, so I want to do everything in my power to do what I want to do, accomplish what needs to be accomplished and finish what needs to be done.

I want my last breath to be a sigh of relief and on my last moments, know, that I didn’t waste my life because I did so many things for myself and for other people and I made myself and the people I love happy and feel cared and loved for.

I want to make memories and make those memories with the people I love and the people that surround me and I want to take pictures and capture things I never ever want to forget so I could see how happy I was.

I want to feel something and I want to know what it’s like to live and not just exist because I am alive but I don’t feel alive.